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Thursday, December 11, 2008

"Mom, what are you thankful for?"

Sweet Luke. He has discovered the age old child tradition of writing on a tablet. Dare you tell him "Luke do you want your notebook." I am quickly corrected, "Mom, it is called a TABLET". He says the word TABLET slow to emphasis the meaning and my mistake. He loves to write words and it does keep him quite occupied in the car. However, after awhile I do get tired of spelling words, over and over again. Especially when they are words like, "person" and "Stephanie" and "Dr. Wilson". What ever happened to starting with "cat" and "dog"? Anyway, he has been asking everyone what they are thankful for and then asking them to spell it so he can write it down on his tablet.

So his sweet innocent question got me thinking. What am I thankful for? Thankful for beyond the typical family. I very thankful for my family, but what is beyond that. So I started formulating a list in my head the past couple of weeks. I am thankful for our home and all the wonderful things that are contained within, like appliances and cable TV. I am thankful for cars that run and are reliable. I am thankful for my husband that loves me beyond what I can fully comprehend. I am thankful for his spiritual role in our home and his willingness to fully embrace that role. I am thankful for his wisdom and his ability to speak straight into my being. For his kindness with our children, and his masculinity that at times makes me get goose bumps. The way he looks at me from across a room or the things he whispers in my ear during church. For him I am truly thankful. After nearly 10 years of marriage I marvel at how God knew exactly the perfect partner in marriage for me. I am thankful for pink sunsets, and unexpected blessings. I am thankful for good books that come along right when you need them most and for the ability to laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time. I am thankful for good friends, who with their intuition, can sense when you need a visit and come to encourage you on your quest. I am also thankful to people at church who don't revel in fear, but speak to you what the Lord is telling them to say, and how those moments stick with you for many months after they happen and provide comfort, strength and encouragement. But, when Luke asks me that question "Mom, what are you thankful for?" I always reply "You, Luke." It makes him smile and he practices writing his name (which is needed). But the answer, the simple answer, is so very, very true. There were times in my life where I thought I would never, ever be a mother. I cried and sobbed to the Lord more than once for a child. He was a fulfillment of a promise. He was a long, long labor. A labor of love. 13 months he lived with us until the wonderful day he was adopted. 13 months I took him every week down for visits with his biological parents who were convinced he was coming home. I remember feeling physically ill, when I neared the department, and after having taken him so many times, I have a reaction of an upset stomach even though it is years later (learned behavior). I watched as they took "my" baby, and lavished him with their affection. I listen each week as he sometimes would scream in the visitation room. I held him later as his stomach would be upset and he would have diarrhea because they gave a 1 year old red kool-aid. And then after the visit was over, I would carry Luke out to the car while they watched my every move, and I would put myself in their shoes and my heart would break. Later, the Lord would provide an opportunity for a relationship with them that has been a very positive thing. So yes Luke, I am thankful for you and Grace too. I will save her story for another post :)

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