Week #26 & 27 @ The Dahlhouse

Summertime is in full swing at the Dahlhouse.  I am enjoying having a more relaxed schedule.  Even within the down time of summer, we continue to have a "schedule".   Monday's find us traveling to and fro from our little community library.  I finally found it!  It is the sweetest little library and perfect for my kiddos to peruse the aisles searching for the perfect book.  Bella calls it "book shopping" and cracks me up each time she says it. 

Water fills many of our hot days. 

Because this little one LOVES water sooo much, we have decided not to set up our big pool this summer.  Instead we have opted for a smaller pool that can be emptied when finished.

However, the size of the pool does not stop the big kiddos from joining in on the activities.  Pool is a pool.  LOL.  Grace is a joy!  She and Matthew have such a special bond and Grace is an excellent helper.  I can always count on her for Matthew help.  She is growing up.  Can't.even.believe.it!

Even though it is summer, the process of fighting and advocating for my kids does not take time off.  Even on a warm Monday, you can find us in the doctor's office with double appointments because this mama has a concern.  Man...I LOVE MY BOYS!  Luke is struggling...he is such a sweet, beautiful soul.  What a privilege to be his mama.  In the midst of Luke's of trials and hard stuff....I am crazy, deeply grateful for my amazing son!  He bring such joy and how I love him and the good God that brought us together.  Pray for him if you think of him.  We've had some very hard days around these parts. 

And oh Matthew...the little person I wished for that I didn't know that I needed!  Matthew is in Infant Toddler Early Intervention.  We have therapy for him for language delays.  He also is tip toe walking. I am concerned and needed the doctor to look at him.  After an exam and four xrays that left us both sweating and crying, he was referred for a pediatric therapy evaluation.  Knowledge is power.  We will be happy if he is fine, and happy to get help if he needs it. 

I finished this book in June.  Wow!  I knew it would be a hard read...and it was.   As a mama that has had both life and death within her...that has said goodbye to three little babies I never knew...my soul needed to read this.  I needed to feel it again.  I needed to grieve a bit more.  I needed to let myself go there.  And I did.  I cried the ugly cry more than once and surprised myself that even after 15, 14 and 12 years ago of losing my babies, the memories, the pain, the dreams and hopes for these little tiny humans were still there.  I allowed myself to feel it and talk about it.  And.it.was.good.  I am glad that I read this book. 

My photobook from Shutterfly arrived.  I designed one about our anniversary trip to Hawaii.  It turned out better than I expected and I highly recommend them.

My scar from my skin cancer is healing very well.  It is better than I could have imagined!  I am very happy. 

 Everyone needs a batman in their life!

 And a baby with a cat on their heads!  Thank you Facebook messenger!!!

 BBQing at Mimi and Papa's.

 Holding on to Hope while parenting on difficult days.

Bella had the opportunity to take a Mandarin lesson through a company called Lingo Bus.  It is a partner company with the one I work for VIPKID.  She loved it!  She is obsessed with Chinese culture.  She loves Panda's, Chinese food and learning people's names in Chinese.  I heart her so!

We've been selling pizza cards as a fundraiser for 4h.  This is our new mini rex rabbit.  She is super soft.

Papa and Mimi took Luke this last weekend for an overnight at their house.  They also took him golfing!  I am hoping that Luke will be able to join the high school golf team in a couple of years.  He really loves it and I think it would be very good for him.

Finally two of my kids promoted grades/classes on Sunday!  Bella moved up to the first grade class.  And Luke graduated out of children's church on Sunday mornings.  He is now going to be a helper for the younger kids classes.  Grace is excited as well because she gets to begin going to youth group.  Tonight is her first night!

The Missing Mom

I'm that mom...the one who is missing from the majority of family pictures.  I'm either behind the camera, or I politely decline to be in the pictures when others have offered to take them.  I have nearly a gazillion pictures of my kids (who are my joy!).  The ones that chronical their lives both individually and corporately. 

 The pictures that show how much they change and grow.

 The pictures that tell the story of conquering fears and triumphal victories.

The pictures that celebrate school events: concerts, plays, presentations.

 The pictures that make us laugh, and we want them documented to remember.

The pictures that celebrate new beginnings and another year passing. 

I cherish my pictures!  They are so precious to me, and I understand the importance of the gift they give by allowing you to capture a moment in time.  For everything to stand still, and to forever be able to look back and see how we were at that second.  Time goes by entirely too fast. 

Newborns grow into babies who grow in to toddlers, who grow into children who grow into teenagers.  Seriously I have lived that whole sequence in this past year.  And I look back and notice that while my children's lives are documented...mine is not. Oh I am there...in the thick and thin and the long nights, and the cleaning and the cleaning and the cleaning (so much cleaning these days).  I'm crying tears as they go off to kindergarten, standing close as they use a locker combination for the first time, encouraging them as they play the flute and clap their hands.  I'm just behind the camera (or on the sidelines).

It's vulnerable for me to be in front of the camera these days.  I used to enjoy having my picture taken (back in my teens and early 20s).  Not now.  I have a mama body and no where near my "goal weight" (whatever that is now!).  I've birthed two children, and labored years for my other two to be officially my babies.  I've battled PCOS, anxiety, depression, exhausted, fear.  I'm tired and carry the weariness of having adjusted to life as a mama of four and a new baby again.  The last thing I am wanting to do is get in front of a camera for everyone to see. 

My sweet friend, and amazing photographer, encouraged me to have my picture taken.  She has been taking pictures of my kids for almost a year.  I am so glad to have met her.  I signed my kids up for a Christmas PJ and cookies session.  My first thought was the kids would be so cute.  But then I started thinking of what a gift it would be to have my picture taken with them.  I want my kids to remember that I lived life with them and have something to look back on.  Not just in "selfies".  To remember that I was the mama that played Yahtzee, and dolls and colored...the mom that played the Wii, danced in the kitchen and sang in the car.  I want them to remember that I lived.  I want them to know that it is ok to not "have it all together" and to "look perfect".  We all have flaws.  And there is a beauty in that...in the mess.  So thank you Brienne for not only capturing us all beautifully, but for encouraging me...and for the gift of making time stand still.

Our Magical Miracle Trip

In late June, our family took a magical, miracle trip to the Happiest Place On Earth!  Disneyland is always magical (no matter your age), and this trip was a MIRACLE, because some incredible, generous people decided to give the entire trip to our FAMILY as a GIFT!  They wanted Luke to see Disneyland NOW, and they wanted our family to have a much needed break.  So, we packed up the kids and headed on down to Anaheim via the Long Beach Airport courtesy of Jet Blue Airways!  This post is packed with pictures :) Enjoy

 Mark and Bella waiting at the gate C6 for our plane to arrive.  She was the busy toddler this trip, and I could tell that the others waiting at the gate were hoping they were not going to sit next to us!

Luke and Grace waiting for our plane.  It was late, but that didn't stop the pilot from making up the time in the air.  We flew 600 miles per hour to make it only 15 minutes late.

 Luke and Bella cruising at 39,000 feet.  I must say I am one BLESSED mama to have such incredibly good traveling children.  Bella may have been a bit loud at the terminal but she was an angel in flight.

Here is how dad enjoyed the flight (with ear phones and the next row over).  I on the other hand was in the middle with Grace on one side, Luke on the other and Bella on my lap.  I LOVE how serious Grace looks watching her TV.  Such the seasoned traveler.

Our airplane.

Our sweet little Long Beach Airport.  Seriously...if you are considering going to LA try Long Beach.  It is little and easy and Jet Blue flies in directly.

Our FAVORITE lunch spot IN N OUT burger.  YUMMY!  Uncle D even met us for lunch too.  Part of going down to Anaheim was to visit David and Katie (my brother and sister in law).  They were so incredible by keeping up with us at Disneyland and blessing our entire family with love and lots of fun stuff.  We love you guys!

Swimming was another highlight of our trip.  My kids are to the age where they really love to swim and Miss Bella was no exception.  She LOVED her some swimming time!

 Our hotel...the Sheraton Park Hotel.  

 Dinner at our favorite restaurant DUKE's (Huntington Beach).

 The Happiest Place on Earth!

 Alice and Wonderland!

 Dumbo with Daddy!

 Miss B and mommy.

 Rockin the 3-D glasses at California Adventure!

 This little girl waited sooooo long for this NEW Ariel ride.  She was THRILLED to ride it twice.  It was a cross between Haunted Mansion (you ride in a clam shell that resembles the chair in haunted mansion) and its a Small World because of the music.

 Our family of 5...notice Bella's missing shoe :)

 Miss B!!!

 The three amigos.  

 The train.

 Grace got her face painted at the Princess Fantasy Fair.  WOW!  This was the best thing you could have done for her.  She LOVED it!

Even better was dancing with the REAL Sleeping Beauty during the show!  She could barely move because she was so in awe of Sleeping Beauty.  It was the cutest thing.

Aunt Katie gave the kids this incredible "Very Merry Unbirthday Party". She took the kids to Chuck E Cheese followed by a birthday party at their place.  She even got each of the kids their own birthday cake.  WE were ALL incredibly BLESSED!

 Bella's Cake

 Luke's Cake

 Grace's Cake

Checking out their place!

Here is Uncle D and Aunt Katie...thank you again for everything you did for us.  We felt sooo LOVED.  We miss you guys so much.

And to the people who gave us this incredible GIFT, I pray that God blesses you for your generous, kindness an selflessness.  Thank you for the MEMORIES and for the OPPORTUNITY to give Luke this experience right NOW.  I am so thankful more than I can express in words.