Coronavirus: Day 155

It's been awhile my sweet friends, but I am here.  I can hardly believe this is the 155th day of the coronavirus having an impact on our daily lives. I never would have thought or believed that when the quarantine began 155 days ago, that we would still be dealing with the virus.  Our daily lives have changed dramatically.  Our world looks different.  My children were supposed to return to the classroom this fall...but distance based learning will continue.  Last March, I would never have predicted we would continue online learning at the beginning of the new school year.  But here we are.  Here we all are.  

There isn't one person that hasn't been affected by this virus.  That thought is both comforting and unbelievable.  Never in my lifetime did this possibility ever enter my mind.  Despite the changes, and masks, and social distancing, and mandates and new rules...life continues on.  My dear readers...since life goes on even during the craziest of times, this is my attempt to catch you up on the goings on of life in our Dahlhouse.  Enjoy.

Let's start with the littlest Dahl.  Matthew is nearly 4.5 years old.  Wait...he is 4.5 years old today!  Crazy.  He is my little ray of sunshine, my sweet buddy and shadow...that is unless dad is around.  Then, I don't exist.  He has finally fully potty trained, even at night.  Bless! He continues to be obsessed with trains and vehicles.  Our house is one big area for building railroad tracks...upstairs, downstairs, tables, couches, under furniture, down the stairs...doesn't matter.  If there is open space, Matthew sees an opportunity to conduct his little trains all around the tracks.  He is at the age where he is looking for validation and feedback from adults.  So it seems every two seconds, "Hey mom, look at __________."  I respond to him and then the next five seconds, "Mom look at this cool railroad track," or "Mom are you proud of me?"  He has really began verbalizing and expressing himself where anyone can understand now.  In early September we have an appointment for another evaluation for feeding therapy at a new clinic.  I still feel there is work to be done in this area.  I have promised myself that I wasn't going to worry or "borrow trouble" over the lack of variety in his food choices during the coronavirus.  But, I would be lying if I didn't mention that those thoughts exist in the back of my mind. 

The littlest Dahl lady is our regular comic relief.  I continue to write down all the amazingly humorous comebacks she has.  Bella enjoys helping me around the kitchen, jumping on the trampoline and playing with her best friend on our street.  I am so thankful that she has a sweet friend to play with.  I often find them creating elaborate stories and worlds for their dolls.  It makes me smile as I eavesdrop on their conversations.  I am so glad they just get to be kids right now, even in the midst of a pandemic.  Bella has been very artistic and dabbling in just about every form of art medium there is.  She has also taken to rearranging her room four to five times since March (just like her mama).  

Grace is our in house baker and has been making the most delicious baked goods.  Snickerdoodles, brownies, banana bread, cowboy cookies, no bake cookies, rice crispy treats.  She is amazing.  Grace is very into Kpop these days (Korean pop music) like most of her friends.  She enjoys her group of girl friends and I am so thankful that they have been able to get together more and hangout.

Luke has spent a lot of time learning the ways of Minecraft.  I enjoy hearing his conversations from downstairs while he is playing with his friend.  Well...mostly.  My boy can be LOUD!  Every so often from the family room I hear Luke upstairs yell, "Yaaaaaa.....let's GOOOOOO!"  or "I need help, I need help, I need help."  It makes me smile.  Luke and I have played a lot of board games.  Currently, Sequence is our fav.  I think I am on a winning streak right now.  I do not go easy on my kids when it comes to games.  Lol.  We've also dabbled in a bit of Monopoly too.  

Mark has been working tirelessly for BNSF.  He will celebrate his 16th year with his company in October.  After nearly two years working the road and traveling with the trains, he is coming back to the yard to work a predictable schedule and have set days off.  It is time.  We all miss him terribly and the weird, unpredictable hours have been more difficult for him.  Also, with this year going to be distance learning for awhile with four kids, Mark's help will be extremely valuable.  He looks forward to doing projects, hunting and fishing and finally being able to ride his motorbike.  I am so, so grateful for his hard work for our family.

I have been keeping things together here at the Dahlhouse, or at least attempting to.  I started a new independent contractor position with a company called Outschool.  It's been amazing so far.  I am writing and creating classes and teaching them via Zoom.  It has been awesome to not have to get up at 4:00am and also get to tap into my creative side.  I'll be scaling back some of my classes this fall because I have to make certain that I am fully available for my kids and their distance learning schedules.  I continue to go to my weekly therapy sessions with my counselor.  I am so thankful to have someone to help with my mental health during this time of the Coronavirus.  I am certainly not ashamed to say hey, "I need help."  It makes me a better mom, a better wife, a better friend and a better version of myself.  

As we begin gearing up for fall, I am reminded that this season of pandemic will end.  It will not be forever.  I am holding onto that thought, and believing for brighter days ahead.

Star Wars, Build-A-Bear and Home Refinancing: Week One

Week one of 2020 was busy for us in the Dahlhouse.  It began on New Year’s Eve.  I took the Fab Four to see the new Star Wars movie.  Raising teens and toddlers at the same time can present challenges at times, but mostly it is fun.  One such challenge is seeing movies.  Such a range of ages and tastes.  I chuckled to myself as I navigated the movie theatre, popcorn buying and seat selection, that the mom in me 15 years ago would have never taken a three year old to see a PG-13 movie in a crowded theatre.  But four kids later...I bought Man Cub M+Ms, brought his blanket, bink and trains and we were doing this!  He was good as gold and I only needed to remind him to be quiet a few times.  

I’ve been a long time Star Wars fan but haven’t really kept up on this new trilogy very closely.  I was surprised at how many times I cried through the movie.  Gahhh...I’m such a softie.  Parent/child relationships, light/dark, love ugh...pass the tissues.  Who would have thought I would be crying in a Star Wars movie.  Never the less....I was. 

We let the kids stay up to midnight on New Year’s Eve.  Then I paid for it the next day with how grouchy and emotional they all were.  

We had fun taking silly pictures with the filter on my phone.  

Over the break we were able to take a trip to Build-A-Bear.  Both Miss B and Man Cub got gift cards for Christmas and they were burning a hole in their pockets.  

This was Man Cub’s first time building a bear and he enjoyed every minute.  I thought it was fitting that they had a Thomas The Train Bear.  So perfect for him.  

Even on the most seemingly perfect of days...we can end up sitting on the mall floor waiting for the tantrum to pass.  Poor guy just doesn’t quite understand why he can have all the toys and cars he sees at the mall.  The concept of paying for them hasn’t registered yet.  So we wait it out while the teens are in other stores shopping for video games and Office sweatshirts.  Another example of the challenges of raising teens and toddlers.

Luke had a recheck on his broken foot.  He broke it the day before Thanksgiving falling UP the stairs chasing his sisters.  The doctor is concerned about the possibility of the stretching of a nerve in his leg, so he is recommending that he sees a specialist that will test his nerve.  Not really certain what they will do with the outcome of this information, but I will find out more next week.  Meanwhile, the bruising and swelling have decreased and he is healing well.

One of our goals for this year and next year (as it seems it will be) is to pay off all our debt.  Living off one income is tough and over the course of the past three years we have racked up quite a bit of credit card debt.  I have felt embarrassed about this in the past, but I don’t anymore.  Mark reminds me that this is a season.  Medical and therapy costs have been astronomical for our family this past 18 months, and all the expenses of raising kiddos and life.  It is time to make some changes and we have been completely overhauling our finances.  So refinancing the house was an option that we looked into.  Not with the plan of taking any equity out of our home, but seeing if we could reduce our interest rate to lower our monthly payment.  Well...we didn’t decreases our payment but we decreased our interest rate and the overall life of the loan to 20 years instead of 30.  So in the long run, we will be saving a lot of money in interest.  Short term not a monthly savings.  However, we have a good plan, and I have been educating myself on the finer points of budgeting, cash and debt reduction.  It’s been quite the education so far.  

Christmas was packed up and put away.  I really loved my tree this year.  It was the first time I have ever really had a vision for a Christmas tree and decorated it for me.  The kids had their tree for their lights and ornaments.  As much as I love Christmas, I was ready for the fresh beginnings of a new year.

The end of week one saw us celebrating 21 years of marriage, which seems impossible since I am only 25!  Haha.  Yes, we were babies when we got married.  Me 19 him 20.  A lifetime ago.  I’ve been so blessed to spend most of my life with this amazing man of mine.  We went to dinner at Ilani and Line and Lure.  We had the cutest little table next to a fireplace.  The dim lights and candles were romantic and we had such good conversation planning this next year.  I love you Dahl!

Happy New Year my readers.  I am believing many blessing and happiness for all of you in this new year!

Life @ The Dahlhouse: Special Needs & Finances

I turned 40 last week.  How in the world can I be 40 already? I still feel 20!  They say age is just a number.  Yet, as a kid, someone who was 40 seemed so old and grown up.  So, here I am 40, and I have to say this was a really hard birthday for me.   I never struggled with turning any other age, but this one threw me for a loop.  I spent  a lot of time reflecting on where I thought I should be vs. where I actually am.  

I thought at 40 I would be a well established teacher with a Master's degree and married with children.  Well...I got the married with children thing correct.  But the career and degree have never come to be.  I have worked at various schools over the years, but have never felt a niche or a place I belonged.  Currently, with Mark's work scheduled, I can't hold any job outside of the home because he works and "on call schedule".  All that to say...I would love to work a part time job outside of the house to help contribute to our families financial situation, but it isn't possible.  

Things have been tight financially for the last four months.  The railroad has been slower, and Mark has worked fewer trips to Pasco and back.  Which results in a smaller paycheck.  The slower railroad schedule has come because of President's Trumps trade war and taxes on import/export items from overseas.  This is what originally caused Mark to lose his mentorship position at BNSF, and had to go back to working the road with BNSF.  It is hard for me to not be angry, and I have really struggled with anger lately. I get angry really easy when it effects my kids. And these changes....Mark being gone all the time with an unpredictable schedule effects my kids greatly.  It seems no matter how hard we try...we can't get ahead.  I understand it is life, and we go through tough seasons, but this has been an unusually tough season for us.  Extra medical bills, the van needing new tires, Mark needing new glasses, and all the therapy copays has really taken a toll.

Bella has been in therapy since March for anxiety, which has been a huge answer to prayers.  It has really helped her as well, and I have gained new insight and education on the role our brains play in anxiety and how to help calm her.  Matthew has had bi monthly occupational therapy and I have had every other week therapy...because let's face it...I need someone to help me too.  

Last Friday, after Matthew's annual reevaluation for occupational therapy, I found out that he will need weekly feeding therapy again.  Feeding therapy is not something the school district will provide because feeding doesn't impact his education.  So for the next three months or so, Matthew needs weekly feeding therapy in addition to his regular bi-monthly occupational therapy for sensory processing disorder.  It means an additional $160 a month in co-pays in addition to the $240 co pays we spend on Bella and I.  I am trying to not feel defeated, but it's tough as a mama.  Of course we are going to get him the therapy.  He needs it, and he will get it.  But, it means sacrificing something to come up with the extra.  

So...I am starting back to teaching VIPKID again.  I taught a couple of classes last week, and have a few more this week as I slowly build up my students and schedule again.  I wish I could say I am enthused for this journey again, but I am not.  I know the sacrifice and the way my body feels in the late afternoons solo parenting after working so early.  But, I am a mom, and life is fluid, and sometimes we have to do what we have to do for our babies.  I'm trying to put on a brave face and have a good attitude about getting up early.  Truth...I am still working on that.  I need to teach 40 classes a month to cover all of the therapy co-pays.  So that is my goal.

Mark and I spent last week deciding ways we are cutting back to help overall.  One of the biggest changes will happened in September when all my kiddos will be students of Battle Ground School District.  After six years of paying for private school, we no longer can afford the ever increasing tuition rates.  Luke is just about to complete his freshman year at River Homelink and it has been an AMAZING program.  So this fall, Grace and Bella will join him at River Homelink, and Matthew will be next door at the elementary school in the special education preschool.  He will attend several days a week while he receives specialized instruction in the areas of adaptive and social/emotional/beahvioral skills.  

Other ways we have been cutting costs are: I have been menu planning and calculating all purchases carefully at grocery stores.  We used to eat out a lot for dinner, but now it is very rarely.  The grill and I have become close friends.  Our cell phone bill decreased because we finished paying off our phones and neither of us are getting the newest model, and our house payment decrease a bit due to taxes (which was a blessing).  Come January Grace's braces will be paid off and we will have a nice long stretch till Bella needs them. Its little things but will help us overall as we move towards winter.  I am also looking into what I would need to do become a tutor at our home for students with dyslexia. Perhaps I could make some additional money tutoring in our home.  I also run an Etsy shop (Dahlhouse Design) selling jewelry items and keychains/purse charms.  Sometimes we have to be creative.        

I know tight finances and special needs families are a common thread.  Needing a parent to be home and present all the time, the medical bills, and therapy costs, is another factor that effects the finances of special needs families.  I know most of us would work if it was logistically possible, even to get out of the house for a few hours a day.  Living on one-income is tough.  It is possible but some seasons of life are more challenging than others.  My faith is being stretched and I am desperately trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  The thing about seasons is that winter eventually becomes spring, but sometimes in the darkness of winter it is difficult to imagine the beauty of spring.  But we carry on bravely...because there is no other choice.  

Week #26 & 27 @ The Dahlhouse

Summertime is in full swing at the Dahlhouse.  I am enjoying having a more relaxed schedule.  Even within the down time of summer, we continue to have a "schedule".   Monday's find us traveling to and fro from our little community library.  I finally found it!  It is the sweetest little library and perfect for my kiddos to peruse the aisles searching for the perfect book.  Bella calls it "book shopping" and cracks me up each time she says it. 

Water fills many of our hot days. 

Because this little one LOVES water sooo much, we have decided not to set up our big pool this summer.  Instead we have opted for a smaller pool that can be emptied when finished.

However, the size of the pool does not stop the big kiddos from joining in on the activities.  Pool is a pool.  LOL.  Grace is a joy!  She and Matthew have such a special bond and Grace is an excellent helper.  I can always count on her for Matthew help.  She is growing up.  Can't.even.believe.it!

Even though it is summer, the process of fighting and advocating for my kids does not take time off.  Even on a warm Monday, you can find us in the doctor's office with double appointments because this mama has a concern.  Man...I LOVE MY BOYS!  Luke is struggling...he is such a sweet, beautiful soul.  What a privilege to be his mama.  In the midst of Luke's of trials and hard stuff....I am crazy, deeply grateful for my amazing son!  He bring such joy and how I love him and the good God that brought us together.  Pray for him if you think of him.  We've had some very hard days around these parts. 

And oh Matthew...the little person I wished for that I didn't know that I needed!  Matthew is in Infant Toddler Early Intervention.  We have therapy for him for language delays.  He also is tip toe walking. I am concerned and needed the doctor to look at him.  After an exam and four xrays that left us both sweating and crying, he was referred for a pediatric therapy evaluation.  Knowledge is power.  We will be happy if he is fine, and happy to get help if he needs it. 

I finished this book in June.  Wow!  I knew it would be a hard read...and it was.   As a mama that has had both life and death within her...that has said goodbye to three little babies I never knew...my soul needed to read this.  I needed to feel it again.  I needed to grieve a bit more.  I needed to let myself go there.  And I did.  I cried the ugly cry more than once and surprised myself that even after 15, 14 and 12 years ago of losing my babies, the memories, the pain, the dreams and hopes for these little tiny humans were still there.  I allowed myself to feel it and talk about it.  And.it.was.good.  I am glad that I read this book. 

My photobook from Shutterfly arrived.  I designed one about our anniversary trip to Hawaii.  It turned out better than I expected and I highly recommend them.

My scar from my skin cancer is healing very well.  It is better than I could have imagined!  I am very happy. 

 Everyone needs a batman in their life!

 And a baby with a cat on their heads!  Thank you Facebook messenger!!!

 BBQing at Mimi and Papa's.

 Holding on to Hope while parenting on difficult days.

Bella had the opportunity to take a Mandarin lesson through a company called Lingo Bus.  It is a partner company with the one I work for VIPKID.  She loved it!  She is obsessed with Chinese culture.  She loves Panda's, Chinese food and learning people's names in Chinese.  I heart her so!

We've been selling pizza cards as a fundraiser for 4h.  This is our new mini rex rabbit.  She is super soft.

Papa and Mimi took Luke this last weekend for an overnight at their house.  They also took him golfing!  I am hoping that Luke will be able to join the high school golf team in a couple of years.  He really loves it and I think it would be very good for him.

Finally two of my kids promoted grades/classes on Sunday!  Bella moved up to the first grade class.  And Luke graduated out of children's church on Sunday mornings.  He is now going to be a helper for the younger kids classes.  Grace is excited as well because she gets to begin going to youth group.  Tonight is her first night!

Week #22 @ The Dahlhouse

Week #22 started off with a holiday.  I enjoyed some down time after my big birthday bash.  We recently purchased some new patio furniture and I must say I really LOVE it.  I've also served as mediator for about a bazillion badminton games.  I hate sitting out, but my arm isn't in badminton shape right now (darn scar from my skin cancer). 

I had this FABOULOUS idea to take the kids shopping at the mall.  We hadn't been to the mall in awhile, and Luke needed new shoes, and my kids generally love going to the mall.  I should have known.  I should have remembered...shoe shopping for Luke is not for the faint of heart.  Everything has to fit precisely or NO GO!  It took two hours, six shoes stores, one container of baby puffs, package of crackers, and a few bad words muttered under my breath before he located the "perfect" shoe.  Sensory disorders are a real thing! 

After Mark came and took the baby home (and I purchased him a new outfit because he peed through his clothes and little prepared me didn't pack him an extra outfit) I took the olders out to sushi.  Oh my word!!!! They loved it!!! 

 This beauty!  Twelve years going on twenty!

 The aftermath of the sushi feast!

This is a book I am thinking about ordering.  My therapist (yes I have one) recommends it.  I am always looking to shape my parenting into ways that meet my children where they are. 

We purchased a gizmogadget watch/phone for the kids.  Luke loses things all.the.time. and we wanted him to be able to be more independent.  This is amazing device.  It even had a GPS locator in it.  Safety is big with us!

We enjoyed the kids' student led conferences.  They each had the opportunity to present some of their best work from the school year.  It was very meaningful, and we are incredibly proud of our three children.  PS... I don't have a picture of Grace's conference because I had to take Bella to the bathroom and held Matthew the entire time.  I try...I try.  We celebrated with lunch at Red Robin which I have no picture of because I spent most of the time praying that we would survive the lunch with Matthew.  He is at that age where everything is difficult.

Friday evening we celebrated the end of the school year with the annual Lion Palooza.  We had never been before, but enjoyed an evening of face paint, bouncy houses, dunk tanks and silly string.  We were able to hear from the school's superintendent that they just purchased land and will be building a new campus soon. 

Saturday we had 4h and enjoyed the time with our bunnies.  In the next couple of weeks we will be adding another bun-bun to our crew.