Week #26 & 27 @ The Dahlhouse

Summertime is in full swing at the Dahlhouse.  I am enjoying having a more relaxed schedule.  Even within the down time of summer, we continue to have a "schedule".   Monday's find us traveling to and fro from our little community library.  I finally found it!  It is the sweetest little library and perfect for my kiddos to peruse the aisles searching for the perfect book.  Bella calls it "book shopping" and cracks me up each time she says it. 

Water fills many of our hot days. 

Because this little one LOVES water sooo much, we have decided not to set up our big pool this summer.  Instead we have opted for a smaller pool that can be emptied when finished.

However, the size of the pool does not stop the big kiddos from joining in on the activities.  Pool is a pool.  LOL.  Grace is a joy!  She and Matthew have such a special bond and Grace is an excellent helper.  I can always count on her for Matthew help.  She is growing up.  Can't.even.believe.it!

Even though it is summer, the process of fighting and advocating for my kids does not take time off.  Even on a warm Monday, you can find us in the doctor's office with double appointments because this mama has a concern.  Man...I LOVE MY BOYS!  Luke is struggling...he is such a sweet, beautiful soul.  What a privilege to be his mama.  In the midst of Luke's of trials and hard stuff....I am crazy, deeply grateful for my amazing son!  He bring such joy and how I love him and the good God that brought us together.  Pray for him if you think of him.  We've had some very hard days around these parts. 

And oh Matthew...the little person I wished for that I didn't know that I needed!  Matthew is in Infant Toddler Early Intervention.  We have therapy for him for language delays.  He also is tip toe walking. I am concerned and needed the doctor to look at him.  After an exam and four xrays that left us both sweating and crying, he was referred for a pediatric therapy evaluation.  Knowledge is power.  We will be happy if he is fine, and happy to get help if he needs it. 

I finished this book in June.  Wow!  I knew it would be a hard read...and it was.   As a mama that has had both life and death within her...that has said goodbye to three little babies I never knew...my soul needed to read this.  I needed to feel it again.  I needed to grieve a bit more.  I needed to let myself go there.  And I did.  I cried the ugly cry more than once and surprised myself that even after 15, 14 and 12 years ago of losing my babies, the memories, the pain, the dreams and hopes for these little tiny humans were still there.  I allowed myself to feel it and talk about it.  And.it.was.good.  I am glad that I read this book. 

My photobook from Shutterfly arrived.  I designed one about our anniversary trip to Hawaii.  It turned out better than I expected and I highly recommend them.

My scar from my skin cancer is healing very well.  It is better than I could have imagined!  I am very happy. 

 Everyone needs a batman in their life!

 And a baby with a cat on their heads!  Thank you Facebook messenger!!!

 BBQing at Mimi and Papa's.

 Holding on to Hope while parenting on difficult days.

Bella had the opportunity to take a Mandarin lesson through a company called Lingo Bus.  It is a partner company with the one I work for VIPKID.  She loved it!  She is obsessed with Chinese culture.  She loves Panda's, Chinese food and learning people's names in Chinese.  I heart her so!

We've been selling pizza cards as a fundraiser for 4h.  This is our new mini rex rabbit.  She is super soft.

Papa and Mimi took Luke this last weekend for an overnight at their house.  They also took him golfing!  I am hoping that Luke will be able to join the high school golf team in a couple of years.  He really loves it and I think it would be very good for him.

Finally two of my kids promoted grades/classes on Sunday!  Bella moved up to the first grade class.  And Luke graduated out of children's church on Sunday mornings.  He is now going to be a helper for the younger kids classes.  Grace is excited as well because she gets to begin going to youth group.  Tonight is her first night!

Rest In Peace Sweet Dad of Mine

Thirteen years ago...you breathed your last breath and let go.  How is it possible that it has been 13 years already!  Seems like forever and a minute all at the same time.  I have been anticipating this year's anniversary for awhile...at least my subconscious has been preparing.  You've appeared in my dreams, memories and I've noticed I have been extra emotional this past month.  Some years the anniversary of your death comes and I remember the day (as always) and miss you, think of you and move on, but some anniversaries come and they tear at my heart, and the grief feels raw for a moment and I cry at all you've missed these past 13 years.   This year's anniversary is the later. 

Recently I've thought a lot about the type of father you were.  You were involved in my life and you included me in yours.  You showed up and participated.  You drove me to school, piano lessons, chaperoned field trips, took my shopping, cheered me on at sporting events, listened to endless choir concerts.  You welcomed my friends into our home and I always thought of you and mom as the "cool" parents.  Even though you were a pastor and we were a Christian family, we were allowed to dress up and go trick-or-treating on Halloween, go to school dances, hang out at friends houses.  You took me on vacations and bought me a first car.  You loved mom.  Some of my best memories I have of you and her, is dancing in the living room on Christmas Eves to Kenny G.  Christmas was always magical at our home.  Try as I might, there is no replicating it for my kids.  We have wonderful Christmases but they are different now.  Different now that you are gone.

We sold our first home this past year.  It was very hard for me to decide to move.  Partially because you helped us buy our first home.  You helped us through the process and renovating it.  Selling it felt like losing a part of you.  However, with our ever growing family, it became necessary to let it go.  So after thinking a long time about how to include you in our new home, I finally came up with an idea.  At the end of the hallway, I hung your picture up.  The one I have had since your memorial service 13 years ago.  Above your picture is a quote from your favorite passage of scripture on a canvas (Psalm 27:1).  I thought you would like it here.  I joke that you have a great vantage point to watch the kids come and go and grow up.  You watched Matthew crawl down that hallway for the first time a few months ago, and you watch the kids enter and exit the bathroom everyday while brushing their teeth for school.  You've watched a myriad of kids go in and out and in and out the garage door with bike helmets, scooters and skinned knees, and you've seen me carry the central vac hose in and out probably a gazillion times.  Every time I pass by your picture, I smile.  I thought it might bring me sadness, but I actually enjoy knowing where I can see your smiling face.  So there you are on the wall watching all the craziness that is the Dahlhouse!

Rest in peace my sweet dad...I love you more than any words could ever say...xoxoxoxo