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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Defeat

I have cried at least four times today...ugh...it's been one of those days.  I don't like to complain, but I sure could use some encouragment. 

It started with an e-mail from one of the kids' teachers about the "story telling" that one of my children is doing lately in class (and at home for that matter).  This is my child...that until a month ago...was Abe Lincoln honest.  This is the second MAJOR offense in 2 days.  After reading the e-mail, I sat in the booth at Burgerville (Mark had taken me and Bells to lunch) crying my eyes out.  The tears just came.  I couldn't hold them back, and HONESTLY I really didn't care who saw me cry.  I felt like I could take on anyone at that point.  Bring it...let's see them do any better. 

My child, disrupted 20 minutes of class today with their "whopper" of a story (aka...lie).  I felt ashamed.  I have rasied them better than that.  We talk about honesty and truth.  It hasn't sunk in.  Mark and I handled the situation with firmness.  There was repentence.  I pray that the lesson will help them next time they would feel compelled to "tell stories."  There is no manual on how to raise kids.  Special needs kids.  Adopted kids.  I NEED one.  Especially today. 

Mark and I had some money set away to try and get away around my birthday.  We had a destination in mind, but alas, we can't go because it is too far.  This event today reminded us that if we are able to get away we have to stay within an hour of home.  We would have to deal with these types of situations or medical issues that would arise.  I cried...again.

I finally had the opportunity to take Grace to ballet today.  Just her and me.  I was so looking forward to just watching her.  On the way to ballet, she refused to talk to me.  I asked why.  No response.  Finally she squeaks out "I hate ballet...I am just too tired...I don't want to go. I want to play soccer."  I told her that she was going to finish the ballet season.  That we had already spent 250 dollars on Show case fees, costumes and pictures.  Sometimes we have to do things we don't want.  I dropped her off in class had to explain to her teacher her attitude and cried...again. 

I came home and got a call from someone who needed to complain about the information I researched and gave them on a dental school.  Apparently it wasn't a "good deal".  Whoops...sorry.  Fail.

Serving dinner, I spilled the chili all over the floor and then as I was cleaning it up, I stood up and smashed my cheek into the side of the cabinet.  I have a shiner now.  Fabulous!  I cried...hard.

Oh and the baby didn't nap today.  So I am waving my white flag.  I admit defeat.

2 comments:

Shelly Cunningham said...

We have all had days like these. Tomorrow things will seem brighter. And it sounds like you and Mark really need that time away. I say take it, even if you can't go far. Heck, even if you just stay in downtown Portland & enjoy a nice restaurant and a fancy dinner... some time without the kids may be just what the doctor ordered.
I'm sorry you had that kind of day today. {{hugs}}

Carissa said...

Thanks Shelly...I know you have had some difficult days too with the washer breaking and no sleep. I remember the no sleep. It will get better :) Yes...we need a break without kids. We will work on it. :) Going to have to seperate the kids and find someone to watch them still, but I know it has to work...hoping tomorrow is better. Thanks for the hugs!

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