Monday, May 28, 2012

Thirty-Three

Yesterday was my birthday...I turned 33.  It doesn't seem possible that another year has come and gone.  It feels that with each passing year time somehow speeds up.  I would like to know how to slow it down for a bit.  The kids keep growing, getting bigger, smarter, older.  Sometimes I feel I am just grasping for the time that flies by, trying desperately to make sure that I am not missing out on things with them. 


It was a simple birthday, but just being with the kids brings me happiness.  Mark and I went out to dinner (by ourselves) and he bought me a Larson's banana cake.  Yum!  I got a new lens for my camera, and some nice gift cards and a pedicure (thank you mom)! 

My birthday always falls around Memorial day weekend.  I couldn't help but remember all the Memorial day weekend BBQ's we had for my birthday at Grandy and Papa's property.  Baked beans, corn on the cob, rides on the ATV, croquet, flying kites.  Family.  I never dreamed that those Memorial day bbq's would end.  I guess I assumed they would go on forever.  Naive...I know.  It's just another family experience that grieves my heart because I can't duplicate it for my children.  I can try...and I do to make things special, unique and fun, but I can't provide 5 acres, 20 family members and all the things that go with it.  Things change and sometimes change is difficult.  I guess I am just stuck a little in the past wanting for things that can never be again, and feeling guilty for not fully appreciating what I had when I had it.  I was thankful last night when we went over to Grandma and Grandpa's house (Mark's parents) to roast hot dogs and marshmallows on their new fire pit.  It was just so nice to be around family.  I think my heart just needed that. 

In this next year it is really a goal of mine to purposely slow down.  To not be running from activity to activity.  And while I know that their will always be a therapy or appointment, I am looking to weed out all the unimportant time wasting activities from my life.  I am planning to continue to implement organizational skills and de cluttering our home.  I guess overall I just want my life to be simpler this coming year. 

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