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Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Tattle Telling and Tics

I am listening to my children argue with each other in the living room. Words spoken under muffled breath, "does he always have to be so bossy?" "Yes, he does…" I say in my head. In another room, forts are being built with soft baby blankets that just a few years earlier held tenderly my little one who now speaks to me with sass. Snow cones devoured, late night swims in the evening heat, hikes around lakes and playing at the park. It is safe to say that summer is in full swing.


 
To the outsider it might look like a perfect life glancing in, but summer and changes is not without challenges. After several months of Luke being tic free, he has developed yet another new tic. Thankfully he has never had several tics going on at the same time. It's always just been one. But one is enough. Some tics don't bother me, but this new one…oh man…is testing my patience. We've gone through eye blinking, shirt chewing, nose sniffing, nail biting, throat clearing and now teeth chomping. The sound of his upper teeth connecting with his lower ones is a test to my coping skills. I know from my research you can't tell them to "knock it off" it only makes them feel more compelled to tic. They can't control it, so you can't force them to control it. Eventually in time it will fade out and away. 

Truth…I am struggling feeling that somehow I brought this new tic on…that it is my fault. There isn't an exact science to what causes tics but a change in schedule, stress, routine change can all cause tics. I easily take it upon myself that this new tic is my fault because we have a much more relaxed schedule in the summer vs the school routine. I am having the kids read daily and do a math worksheet as not to fall behind in skills, but there is a lot of unstructured time.

Then yesterday Mark was notified that his position as a BNSF Railroad Mentor was being cut due to "need for manpower on the ground." Too much work….too few workers. They are so short staffed that they have called all the employees doing extra assignments back to the yard/road (I know…I know…railroad lingo). We have 48 hours to make a decision to where he works again. Yard switcher or Road Switcher. Each with pros and cons. Each with benefits and negatives. Even though the "higher ups" only say this is temporary, Mark really values his work as a mentor/leader. I could see a bit of disappointment when this news was announced. I am believing that this will be only temporary and he will mentor once again soon.

I look at our summer so far with all its ups and downs and isn't it true of life? Life with ups and downs…mountains and valleys. Not one without the other. Nothing ever stays the same…the perfect world doesn't exist. There was however; one perfect man that made a way for each one of us to have a relationship with HIM. He lived a sinless life for my sinful one. He was unselfish to cover my selfish ways. He suffered so I wouldn't have to. He is real, and holy and the giver of peace and patience and kindness and goodness. The maker of joy and love. He is faithful. Even though right now things may feel confused and weird and different…I am thankful HE is constant, ever faithful and good.

 

During this crazy time, I can choose to be full or worry or to be thankful for this wonderful exciting life. I am thankful…for my children, my husband, our home, cars and health insurance. Thankful for my new air conditioner that is cooling the house so beautifully. For BBQ's and sunshine. For a four year that has the most contagious laugh. For the art work my nine year old creates, and love of an 11 year old boy that melts my entire being. For a husband that loves me fiercely, protects me and considers me his partner and friend. Thankful for so many things! Especially for forgiveness from HIM, and also from others. For second chances, and re-commitments. For the beauty of a fresh start. For jobs and provision both old and new. For private school for my children, and a job that meets my needs. I am especially thankful for friends. My heart is full of thanksgiving.



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