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Saturday, October 22, 2011

Discouraged...but still fighting

Sometimes when it pours.  This was true this past week.  The week started typical...Monday morning errands and such.  What the rest of the week would entail, would be absolutely unbelievable.  Through the process of researching Luke's most current IEP, I discovered that the school district was not providing services listed on Luke's IEP.  He had been missing 45 minutes of services per week.  Not only was this a HUGE oversight by the school district, it is illegal.  Luke is entitled to a free and appropriate education and they failed to provide that.  The director of special education is involved now and I am seeking restitution for the missed services and service time for Luke. 

This situation leaves such a bad tasted in my mouth.  I entrusted my son into their care.  I even spent time talking with the staff at the school before I enrolled him to let them know my concerns, thoughts and apprehensions.  They broke that trust and now I feel that I have to check and double check just to make sure Luke is getting his services and they are doing their jobs. I just always feel like I am fighting and fighting and fighting. If I let my guard down for one minute, I feel that something horrible might happen.

This situation has caused me to question everything.  Education, special education, IEP's, what really is important in the education of a child.  I am left feeling empty, confused and sad.  It even makes me wonder why we have special education when staff doesn't care to read or follow the IEP (Individualized Education Plan).  It is absolutely disappointing.  I think was is the most frustrating for me is that the school district and teachers were cheating my son, Luke, out of what was legally and rightfully his.  Really!!! They are messing with my baby.  He has been through so much, and to now to have those that are supposed to be protecting, educating him and helping him, not even follow through makes this mama MAD (to say the very least).

On the home front...I am really missing Mark.  He is gone a lot and I am left to ease the feelings and actions of 3 little people who miss him dearly.  When Mark was home this week, it seemed everything and everybody was just pulling him away from spending a few minutes together.  His phone would ring (a friend), his phone would ring (friend from work)...van had a leaky tire, the neighbor needed his help, the neighbor needed advice, the church needed him to go down to the bank to sign some papers for something, etc, etc...

To top it off, the one night we had together with him home this week Bella got sick.  Of course, Friday night, she would not be feeling well.  She wouldn't go to sleep and had difficulty staying asleep. Up at 11pm, up at 2am, up for the day at 4am.  I knew right away she had an ear infection.  Got up Saturday (well waited for Urgent Care to open) and took her to the doctor.  DOUBLE EAR INFECTIONS.  The doctor said her ears were bright red and bulging.  This is her 4th ear infection in less than a year.  I think we have ear tubes in her future.  It might be time to call Dr. Wilson.  Ughh.  My poor baby.  Mark's train was called when Bella and I were still at the doctors, so we missed spending time with him again.  Thankful for both Grandma and Mimi, who stopped by today. 

Tonight I was supposed to get to go to a girl's night...a night off.  I had a babysitter and was really looking forward to grown-up conversation and a time to vent, laugh and not have responsibility for a couple of hours.  But..due to the ear infections it didn't happen.  I really needed that break too.  Oh well..Bella needs me and I am where I am supposed to be...but I can feel disappointed.  Another time.

So that is my fantastic week in a nutshell.  I am believing next week will be better.  Despite all the difficulties I am thankful for so many things...a home, my children, my husband, a place where I can access medical care for my child on a Saturday, friends that care and grandmas and Mimi's that stop in and help out.  Tonight I am thankful to the doctor who prescribed numbing ear drops for my baby, so that for the first time in 4 nights I will be able to get some sleep in my bed and not sitting in a rocking chair.


joykos said...

hang in there, Carissa! You are a fantastic mother! i hope your week ahead is easy breezy and you get some of that adult time. hugs!

Carissa said...

Thanks Joy! And thank you so much for the note, pictures and coupons. It was a welcome surprise in the mail!!! How thoughtful of you. Hugs to you too.

Lisa said...

It can be so hard and so frustrating, can't it?

I hope this new school year will bring a better outcome. :o) I'm visiting from Kate's blog party~

Lisa @All That and a Box of Rocks

Carissa said...

Thanks Lisa! I am hoping for a better school year this year. Nervous about who his teacher will be and if they will be easy to work with and accomdating to Luke's needs especially with his glaucoma and needing to face the board straight on.

Thanks for visiting. I pray for miss Lucy everyday. Kate has such a strength and I admire her.


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