Our First Moment

(How Luke looked the first time we met...2003)

We faced each other, starring eye-to-eye. He looked at me so intensely, almost like he knew me. I starred back, unable to move, my breath catching shallow in my chest. I had never seen him before, nor had he ever seen me, but in that moment, I knew without shadow of a doubt I was looking at my son. I stood facing him, and he studying my face so intensely, for what seemed like hours. Finally, his sweet foster mom's voice broke the silence, "I just thought you two should meet." "Thank you," was all I could whisper. I was too caught up in the importance of the moment. And then as quickly as it began, she was gone, he was gone.

I had been working at a small store the day Luke walked (well carried) into my life. He was 8 months old and had already endured more struggle, heart ache and challenges than I could relate too. I questioned my ability to be everything he needed, but his happy disposition left me feeling as if he were saying, "Come on mom. I've been waiting for you. Let me introduce you to my life and we can figure it out together." So, I did what any good mom would do. I took a blind leap of faith and jumped. Since that moment, I haven't looked back. We keep pressing forward, him and I. One therapy after another, one doctor's appointment after another, one tear after another. We stand hand in hand, mother and son, walking a path neither one of ever intended to take, but one that neither of us would have ever wanted to miss. I have the privilege of being your mom Luke. I count it the biggest blessing in my life that somehow God saw me fit to be your mother. People have told me that you are blessed to have found us, but I am the one that has been enormously blessed to have found you. Luke, thank you for letting me be your mama.