Coronavirus: Railroad Wife Edition (Day 66)

Someone asked me the other day, “when is Mark going to be on a “normal” Work schedule again?”  Oh if I had a dollar for every time I have been asked that in the last 18 months!  LOL.  I wish I had answer and knew.  Believe me...there is no one who wants that more than this girl right here.  I think the best answer I can give to that question is when I decide to go back to work as a teacher.  Even part time teaching would be enough money for Mark to work in the train yard instead of traveling on the trains.  The train yard equals a set schedule with set days off.  You see...I had this plan...we had this plan.  I have worked all school year on taking the necessary requirements to renew my teaching license.  I finally finished this past month and submitted all the necessary documentation to the state. But as we all know...the coronavirus is here and has disrupted all our lives.  They really aren’t hiring any teachers right now. Ive applied for a few jobs, but have heard nothing.  VIPKid has decided to cut teacher pay across the board starting August 1. Finally, I had enough bad news and called my mom yesterday and just let it all out (vented, cried, laughed...all the emotions).  Now...we just wait.  

What is it like to live an “on call” schedule with a family?  Mark works for the BNSF Railway as a train conductor.  He has been doing various positions within the company for the past almost 16 years.  My favorite position was when he mentored in Kalama, WA, and my least is him working the “road” or traveling with the train to Pasco and back.  

We have learned to exist in this place where we literally cannot plan anything ahead of time.  Everything, except for his vacation weeks, is done last minute.  Birthday parties, dates, meeting with friends, making appointments, holidays, school events, etc. is all decided last minute.  For example, last week was my birthday and mom is wanted to plan a BBQ.  Mark decided to take some personal leave days last week so we could make plans to celebrate my birthday, otherwise it would have been up to the railroad gods what would have happened.  Mom is great about being flexible and making things work too.  

Sometimes I am relaxed and go-with-the-flow and sometimes I HATE it so much.  It is difficult to not be able to plan, And it is also difficult to know exactly how long he has off between trips.  Mark gets a specific amount of “rest time” before they can call him again.  Sometimes Mark can predict when he will get his call for work, and sometimes he is way wrong.  The phone can ring at anytime day or night.  Many nights he kisses me goodbye at 2am, 4am etc.  We just never know.  

Mark and I are planners.  We want to plan.  We want to go out with friends.  But sometimes it just doesn’t work out.  Ive learned to be okay with it mostly, although some days it gets to me (like everyone else).  Ive learned to live in the space of the unknown and needing to be flexible.  When Mark leaves for a trip to Pasco he is usually gone 36 to 48 hours (occasionally sometimes more).  I am on my own.  I have learned to be more self-reliant.  I have fixed vacuums, rescued toddlers from locking themselves in bedrooms, repaired broken trains, fixed TVs, navigated tire rotation, emergency trips to the ER, and I am sure a zillion other little things.  I manage the house, the kids, the bills, the appointments and everything else. 

In the beginning of our marriage Mark worked for a high voltage electrical testing and maintenance company.  I would often spend days and weeks on my own as the company traveled to different work sites.  I think the longest trip apart we had was a little over one month.  He traveled to Texas and then Ohio.  I learned to be independent and self reliant.  It is more different now with kids.  I navigate the physical, emotional and now educational needs of these fabulous four kiddos.  Most days go by in a blur.  Me moving from one task to the next in a kind of choreographed dance.  From dressing, cooking, potty training, and Zoom meetings...to wiping floors, tables and sticky hands...to managing medicine, appointments and behavior...to cleaning toddlers and toilets, clothes and floors.  And before I know it finally to drop into bed at night only to rise in the morning and do it all over again.  

I am not really sure where I am going with this post only to say parenting is hard.  Whether single parenting or both partners together, foster parenting, grandparents raising kiddos...caretaking is hard work.  We all face our challenges, especially in this time of pandemic.  Carry on my fierce friends...we got this!

Quarantined: Coronavirus Day 29

I've done 43 loads of laundry since the quarantine started.  I really have no idea why I am keeping track of that, other than it is something interesting.  One load in the washer...one tally mark.  The cycle will continue...wash cycle, dry cycle, fold cycle, repeat...over and over and over again.

I've read 4 books since we've been home, and played many rounds of Yahtzee. I am currently being tutored by Luke on how to play Sequence.  I have yet to do any puzzles even though I enjoy them.  I have a couple of them waiting to be put together.  I can't do a puzzle without thinking of my Grandy.  She and I used to do puzzles together when I would stay the night with them at their house as a child. Such good memories.

The weather has been very nice this past week.  It was above 70 degrees a few days this last week, which means only one thing to my littles "swimming".  We have one tiny, and I mean TINY, blue swimming pool.  Miss B got it all set up.  She had chairs, and towels and toys for her and Man Cub.  They were sitting "poolside" with their feet in the water.  Oh. my. gosh.  I just love them so much.

This past week felt more "normal" than any of the others since we've been quarantined.  The majority of time is spent doing school with the kids, checking Google Classroom, responding to emails, and setting kids up in Zoom meetings.  Wow...even as a teacher, it is an undertaking.  I keep reminding myself that I don't have to be perfect.  My goal is focusing on what I feel are the basic subjects/skills: Reading, Writing and Math.  Luke still has World History and Chemistry and Health, but with the girls we are just scaling back and focusing on those things.  I try and be finished by 1pm so the kids can have the afternoon to relax, chat with friends, play video games and outside play.  I enjoy reading and I need time to get other things done too (laundry, bills, cleaning, planning, cooking).

Matthew has finally decided that going potty isn't as scary as he once thought.  So, in the midst of schooling all the kids, I am running him to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so (which is so fun, let me tell you).He is really doing well, but still behind other kids his age in this skill.  He has had some great success, and those Thomas the Train underwear really are the cutest on him.  My favorite is when he goes into the bathroom, he looks at me and says, “I’m doing really great mom!”  Yes buddy, yes you are.

This past week, I was able to sew some masks for our family and for some friends. I realized I had all the supplies on hand because I make hair scrunchies.  It took me a few patterns before I found the one that worked for me. Making masks made me feel happy and productive.  It was a way I could give back to others during this time.

And in other news...Mark and I finished watching "Tiger King." Although, Mark could never say the title of the show correctly, which was hilarious!  He would say to me, "Babe you want to watch "Tiger Shark?"  Or, "You want to watch "Shark Tank?"  "Ummm nope," I would laugh.  He even called "Joe Exotic"  "Joe Dirt."  Oh my goodness...Mark makes me laugh.  "Tiger King" was a weird, bizarre distraction from the Coronavirus, and we now know what everyone is talking about.  LOL.