Someone asked me the other day, “when is Mark going to be on a “normal” Work schedule again?” Oh if I had a dollar for every time I have been asked that in the last 18 months! LOL. I wish I had answer and knew. Believe me...there is no one who wants that more than this girl right here. I think the best answer I can give to that question is when I decide to go back to work as a teacher. Even part time teaching would be enough money for Mark to work in the train yard instead of traveling on the trains. The train yard equals a set schedule with set days off. You see...I had this plan...we had this plan. I have worked all school year on taking the necessary requirements to renew my teaching license. I finally finished this past month and submitted all the necessary documentation to the state. But as we all know...the coronavirus is here and has disrupted all our lives. They really aren’t hiring any teachers right now. Ive applied for a few jobs, but have heard nothing. VIPKid has decided to cut teacher pay across the board starting August 1. Finally, I had enough bad news and called my mom yesterday and just let it all out (vented, cried, laughed...all the emotions). Now...we just wait.
What is it like to live an “on call” schedule with a family? Mark works for the BNSF Railway as a train conductor. He has been doing various positions within the company for the past almost 16 years. My favorite position was when he mentored in Kalama, WA, and my least is him working the “road” or traveling with the train to Pasco and back.
We have learned to exist in this place where we literally cannot plan anything ahead of time. Everything, except for his vacation weeks, is done last minute. Birthday parties, dates, meeting with friends, making appointments, holidays, school events, etc. is all decided last minute. For example, last week was my birthday and mom is wanted to plan a BBQ. Mark decided to take some personal leave days last week so we could make plans to celebrate my birthday, otherwise it would have been up to the railroad gods what would have happened. Mom is great about being flexible and making things work too.
Sometimes I am relaxed and go-with-the-flow and sometimes I HATE it so much. It is difficult to not be able to plan, And it is also difficult to know exactly how long he has off between trips. Mark gets a specific amount of “rest time” before they can call him again. Sometimes Mark can predict when he will get his call for work, and sometimes he is way wrong. The phone can ring at anytime day or night. Many nights he kisses me goodbye at 2am, 4am etc. We just never know.
Mark and I are planners. We want to plan. We want to go out with friends. But sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Ive learned to be okay with it mostly, although some days it gets to me (like everyone else). Ive learned to live in the space of the unknown and needing to be flexible. When Mark leaves for a trip to Pasco he is usually gone 36 to 48 hours (occasionally sometimes more). I am on my own. I have learned to be more self-reliant. I have fixed vacuums, rescued toddlers from locking themselves in bedrooms, repaired broken trains, fixed TVs, navigated tire rotation, emergency trips to the ER, and I am sure a zillion other little things. I manage the house, the kids, the bills, the appointments and everything else.
In the beginning of our marriage Mark worked for a high voltage electrical testing and maintenance company. I would often spend days and weeks on my own as the company traveled to different work sites. I think the longest trip apart we had was a little over one month. He traveled to Texas and then Ohio. I learned to be independent and self reliant. It is more different now with kids. I navigate the physical, emotional and now educational needs of these fabulous four kiddos. Most days go by in a blur. Me moving from one task to the next in a kind of choreographed dance. From dressing, cooking, potty training, and Zoom meetings...to wiping floors, tables and sticky hands...to managing medicine, appointments and behavior...to cleaning toddlers and toilets, clothes and floors. And before I know it finally to drop into bed at night only to rise in the morning and do it all over again.
I am not really sure where I am going with this post only to say parenting is hard. Whether single parenting or both partners together, foster parenting, grandparents raising kiddos...caretaking is hard work. We all face our challenges, especially in this time of pandemic. Carry on my fierce friends...we got this!
