The rules have become stricter in the last two days. I feel we barely got through the birthdays by the skin of our teeth. Luke, who celebrated his birthday on the 22nd of March, was able to take a fishing day with his dad. Now, those places are closed down to fishing. Where we were able to take a long walk in Ridgefield last week...that too is now closed. Campgrounds and parks and the beaches all closed. My heart is heavy...
Bella celebrated her 10th birthday yesterday. It was definitely not the birthday I had planned for her. Her and I had been planning her 10th birthday since January. We had taken several trips to the craft stores and had pinned a 100+ pins on Pinterest. She had a whole birthday planned with her little friends. And then the Coronavirus, and social distancing and quarantine became words that we have all begun saying. We both had a good cry last week, and I set out to make her day special. I know I succeeded. Bella helped me decorate and make her birthday cake/cupcakes. We even made a special game that everyone in the family played (including dad). It took me FOUR tries to find a restaurant that was open for us to get her a special birthday dinner to go. She played all day with her new toys and didn’t cry at all. She was happy and felt loved. That is a win.
It is now the 25th of March. Just 25 days ago, I was sitting in a pizzeria with my family, eating and talking and not even slightly considering that this would be our reality today. I have yet to find a groove in this crazy new world of ours. Truth...I am having a very difficult time sleeping. The past three nights it has been after 1am before I have been able to fall asleep. And I am not reading or watching the news. I have began distancing myself from the news and social media more during the day and have stopped reading articles about everything Coronavirus related. I thought that would help. But I just can’t relax, or turn my mind off, or stop wondering where Mark is at, or worrying about family and friends that have lost jobs. I am sure it is a combination of all of it.
There are a few moments... the moments between when you first wake up and fully are awake. In those moments, I don’t remember that we are in a global pandemic. Then it hits me all over again as I rub the tired out of my eyes... we are in a pandemic. I can’t change it or control it, so...I roll out of bed to face another day with my crew at home in the comfort of our warm little house. I am thankful for many things, even during this scary and unknown time. I’ve been able to help a few people. That really is my heart...to help people. I was able to give a bottle of spray Lysol to someone in need of one, a DVD called Robots to a mama who needed it for her son, and now some paper towels to a wonderful friend of mine. It is my way to help, to reach out, and feel like I can make a difference during a time that is uncertain.
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